Remember Your Humanity
by Nelson
Angel stroked Lindsey's hand, a worried look etched on his face, as he watched his lover sleeping soundly in the hospital bed.
"I need to go get a drink or something," Spike said, rising from the chair on the opposite side of the room. "Want anything?"
Angel looked up at his other partner and shook his head. "No, thanks."
Angel turned back to Lindsey and studied the handsome face. The close call had brought Angel face-to-face with his feelings for this man, a man he now called "partner", formerly known as "enemy". Seeing Lindsey fly through the air when the demon attacked him, would have stopped Angel's heart had it been beating. Lindsey would have been dead had he and Spike not shown up when they did. Lindsey was lucky. As far as the doctors could tell, he suffered nothing more than a concussion from the fall, but they wanted to keep him overnight to be sure he was all right.
A concussion. It was a good thing Lindsey had a hard head, Angel thought irritably. He needed to learn to listen, no doubt about that, especially when Angel told him to hang back if things could get dangerous. Angel understood Lindsey's desire to feel a part of the team, but he was mortal and didn't seem to take that little fact into consideration when facing danger. Angel had no interest in putting Lindsey in situations that might bring him up close and personal with his own mortality. Once Lindsey was awake, Angel planned to have a serious conversation with him. He wasn't going to risk losing him again, not if he could help it.
He thought back over the last two months and how Lindsey became a part of his and Spike's relationship. Angel had vehemently declined any part of a relationship with him when Lindsey suggested it, uncertain of his intentions given their history. Everything changed on Halloween night after they literally followed an off-handed suggestion from Lorne after having his sleep removed by the doctors at Wolfram and Hart. Angel smiled at the memory. Life was anything but boring.
None of the three of them had realized they were under any sort of influence. They had nothing on their minds at the time but sex. Angel remembered being so caught up in the moment that his office seemed private enough despite the Halloween party raging on in the large outer lobby. Angel had been so absorbed on a sexual high that night with Lindsey and Spike that he hadn't even realized Fred, Wes, Lorne and Gunn had come in the room until Fred spoke.
"Angel? You in here?"
Angel's head popped up quickly from behind the sofa, only mildly distracted by the intrusion into his office. "Fred."
A growl erupted from behind the sofa. "Come 'ere."
"Spike?" Wesley asked.
Angel dove down again, struggling to stay upright. "Stop it, Spike. Wes, what are you guys doing here?"
"Wesley," Spike said, noticing their audience. "Go away and take your little friends with you."
Fred's drunken giggling stopped abruptly as the two naked men looked at her from across the room.
"Looks like someone else is having a good time at the party, too," she giggled.
Another voice from behind the sofa preceded the brown-haired head that peeked over the back of the sofa. "What's going on?"
"Lindsey?!" Gunn asked incredulously. "What the hell…?"
Lindsey tugged Angel's arm, pulling him down again. "Lindsey, cut it out," Angel demanded.
Angel stood up, forgetting his nakedness, and quickly clutched a throw pillow to his groin in a feeble show of modesty. "What do you guys want?" he asked, sounding as casual as possible.
Lindsey's head reemerged between Spike and Angel and he nuzzled at Spike's ear. "Forget them," he said to Angel, tugging on his arm.
"Quit it, Lindsey," Angel ordered.
"The three of you?" Wesley asked in surprise. He shook his head and said, "Uh, Angel, we have a little problem."
"What is it?" Angel asked with a tinge of irritability, anxious to get back to business.
Wesley said off-handedly to the others, "They must be under the effect of Lorne— and Lindsey, too, presum— presumal--."
Fred said, snorting, "Prezoomally."
Wesley said, "Angel, Lorne's doing it—something to all of us."
"I am not," Lorne said defensively.
Wesley continued, "Everything he's told us to do, we're doing. You, Spike and Lindsey are--. Gunn is peeing all over the office."
"And we're a little bit drunk," Fred giggled.
"Yes," Wesley agreed, "but not because we drank, but because Lorne told us to be drunk."
Angel looked toward a spattering sound and saw Gunn at it once again. "Lorne told you to pee all over the office?"
"Lord, I hope so," Gunn said wearily. He perked up with a sudden memory. "Territory! Wait. This morning, Lorne told me to stake out my territory."
Wesley said, "Right. Territorial marking, taken a little too literally."
Lorne protested, "Ooh. Hey, I did not tell Gunn to go water the ferns. I did not do anything."
Gunn announced, "You had your sleep removed."
"What?" Wesley asked in shock.
Gunn said, "Yeah. He hasn't slept in a month."
"Oh, dear. An empath demon deprived of sleep for that long— " Wesley said.
Angel said, "Ok, Wes, Fred, go find Lorne's sleep and figure out a way to put it back in his head."
"Yes, sir."
Fred saluted and said, "Done and doner."
"Lorne, you just stay tight and try not to, you know, talk," Angel directed. "Gunn, go out on the floor, see if anyone else is under the Lorne effect."
"Check."
"And stop with the— " Angel inferred, pointing toward the latest wet spot on the carpet.
"Do my best," Gunn promised as he left the room.
Angel said, "And, Lindsey and Spike, you stay here with me, and we'll have more sex."
"All over it," Lindsey said with a hungry grin.
Spike added, "Brilliant plan. Excellent."
Angel smiled at the memory despite the stress of the day. How silly they must have looked to the others, naked and romping behind the sofa while the office Halloween party rolled on in full tilt. It also saddened him at the memory of Fred. So young and alive, now her body overtaken by some force they couldn't understand.
Angel, Spike, and Lindsey ended up in the throes of passion simply because an empath demon deprived of sleep told them to quit bickering and do something about their sexual tension. Including Lindsey in their relationship before that had been something Angel never dreamed would happen. Now he was considering taking things to the next level and bringing Lindsey into their home, not just while he recovered, but for good. He needed to talk to Spike, but knowing the vampire like he did, he couldn't imagine he wouldn't be for it.
Spike came back in the room with a can of soda and flopped back down in the chair he recently vacated. "Anything change while I was gone?"
"Yeah. A lot."
Spike frowned in confusion and glanced toward the man still sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed.
"We need to talk," Angel said.
Lindsey awoke between Spike and Angel and stretched his arms overhead. He was still sore from the fall but his headache had settled to a dull throb. A few aches and pains were no match for his contentment; he was happier with Angel and Spike than he had been for most of his adult life.
When Angel told him they needed to have a serious talk, he was certain Angel was giving him the boot. After all, he had been told not to tag along to search out the demon, and ignoring that order had landed him in the hospital. He knew Angel was angry, but he had no idea how worried the man was. Angel had been so serious, so firm when he discussed what had happened. His strength was one of the things that attracted Lindsey to the man.
"I won't chance losing you again," Angel had said firmly. "Not if it's in my control."
There was no question that the answer was "yes" when Angel and Spike invited Lindsey to move in. Lindsey remembered the euphoric feeling that filled him with the offer. Spike had been all for it, and seemed just as happy to have Lindsey as Lindsey was to be with them.
The only blot on the picture was the discipline thing. Angel was clear that Lindsey would be punished if the situation called for it, and a situation like what landed him in the hospital would have been just the thing that got him in trouble. A small price to pay, Lindsey thought. If Angel wanted to flex his muscles on occasion, Lindsey was sure he could handle it. It was well worth being in the relationship he was now in.
Lindsey slipped from the bed to use the bathroom and quietly returned. Spike and Angel had migrated to one another in their sleep while Lindsey was gone and he looked at their peaceful faces. Asleep, they looked as they were: dead. Their sleep was deeper than a mortal's and Lindsey used that knowledge to wedge himself back in the middle once again, raising no complaint from either sleeping vampire.
At 3:00 in the afternoon, Angel awoke and kissed Lindsey's head tucked under his chin. "How are you feeling?"
"Great," Lindsey said, snuggled close.
"How's the head?"
"Hurts a little but not too bad."
"Are you still sore?"
"Only when I move just right," Lindsey said. "Mostly, no."
"If the two of you are going to go on yammering, at least make it quiet," Spike muttered.
"Morning," Lindsey said, rolling over to kiss Spike on the lips.
"Morning," Spike said, the kiss waking him fully.
Lindsey settled back against Angel's chest and asked, "What's on the agenda for today?"
"Something with no drama," Spike groused as he got out of bed. "I've had enough of that this week between you trying to get yourself killed and Fred inhaling that what's it from the sarcophagus."
"We need to figure out what the what's it was," Lindsey said.
"'We' will not include you today," Angel replied to Lindsey. "You're staying here to rest."
"I'm fine, Angel," Lindsey said as he admired Spike's tight ass bent over to step into his jeans.
"I didn't say that so we could negotiate it," Angel said. He kissed Lindsey's head then got up to dress with Spike.
"I can handle a day in the office."
"No," Angel said simply.
"But—"
"Forget it," Spike said. "He's stubborn as hell, if you didn't know that already. You won't change his mind."
"Spike's right. Well, I'm not sure about the stubborn part," Angel said almost to himself. "Anyway, I'm not changing my mind and it isn't up for discussion. Got it?"
Lindsey smiled, an unusual sense of contentment filling him as Angel tried to establish control. It was odd, but somehow nice. He could get used to this, he thought.
"Got it," Lindsey said. It would be interesting to see how Angel reacted if he showed up later at the office. Letting him think he had won the argument just added to the fun.
"Won't be nothing to smile at when he's on your last nerve," Spike said, dropping an arm around Angel's waist.
"Do I ever get on your nerves?" Angel asked with a grin, pulling him close.
"Do you ever," Spike replied then rose to Angel's lips for a sensuous kiss.
Angel said to Lindsey as he pulled on his jacket, "Take it easy today while we're gone. Call if you need anything."
"You're the boss," Lindsey said, propping his head on his hand.
Spike leaned down and kissed Lindsey goodbye. "Arse kisser."
Lindsey smiled as he watched them leave.
"I've searched the records," Wesley said. "I can't find any information on the sarcophagus. Nothing about the symbol on the front either."
"We need to find out what it is, Wes. Fred's life is in danger."
"So much for no drama," Spike grumbled.
"It's as though she's… infected or something," Wesley said. "We can't know how to cure her until we know what we're dealing with."
"You need a direct line to the Senior Partners," Lindsey said as he entered Angel's office.
"Lindsey. What are you doing here?" Angel said tersely.
"Oh, brother," Spike muttered. "More drama."
"I told you to stay at home today."
"I was bored."
"How are you feeling?" Wesley asked.
"I'm fine. I think I know a way you can find out where that sarcophagus came from."
"How?" Wesley asked.
"Eve."
"Eve isn't going to tell us anything," Spike said. "She's like a damn vault, that one."
"She's your direct line to the Senior Partners," Lindsey said. "If anyone knows what's going on, it's her."
Angel looked at Spike who shrugged. Angel said, "It's a start."
"Let's go," Spike said.
Lindsey started for the door and Angel said, "No, Lindsey, you aren't going anywhere but home."
"Angel!" Lindsey demanded.
Angel drew up to his full height and crossed his arms. "You heard me."
Lindsey huddled close to Angel and said, "Why can't I go? It's just Eve."
Angel sighed and put his hands on his hips. "Aside from the fact that I told you to stay home and rest, it's too dangerous. I don't want you anywhere near her. She's too entrenched with the Senior Partners and you aren't exactly their favorite person right now."
"I can handle it," Lindsey said tightly.
"I said no," Angel said.
"I'm going," Lindsey said stubbornly.
"No, you're not," Angel said. Aware that both Spike and Wesley were raptly attuned to the conversation, he added, "We'll talk about this later."
"We'll talk about it now," Lindsey demanded.
No one said a word when Lindsey threw down the challenge; they merely watched in fascination as the two men stood toe to toe, daring each other with their eyes.
The serious mood was shattered by Spike's laughter. "This should be good."
Angel took a step closer to Lindsey, locking eyes with him and said, "Give us a minute. I'll catch up."
Spike flopped down on the front row seat of the sofa rather than follow Wesley out.
"You, too, Spike," Angel said to his partner.
"Me?" Spike asked incredulously. "I should stay. I'm a part of this relationship, too, in case you forgot."
"This is private," Angel told him.
"Private?! You're leaving me out."
Angel turned his attention to Spike. "You need to go. This is between me and Lindsey."
Spike's lips tightened in a familiar sneer and he stalked out of the room muttering the whole way.
"Have a seat," Angel directed.
Lindsey said, "I can stand and talk at the same time."
Angel wheeled the stubborn man around and smacked the seat of his pants. "I said to sit down," he repeated.
Lindsey blinked in surprise at the power behind the swat as well as the fact it happened at all. It was enough to convince him to sit down.
"Happy?" he asked, trying to save some shred of his dignity.
"No," Angel replied. "When I say you aren't going, that's the end of it. No arguing, no demands."
"You don't trust me to go."
"It has nothing to do with trust. You know where you stand with the Senior Partners. They see you as a traitor and that's a serious position to be in. I don't need you flirting with danger and I'm not about to let you."
"But I can handle it."
"Lindsey, I'm not arguing with you about this. I told you when you got out of the hospital that I wouldn't see you hurt again if I could help it. You're not going and that's final."
"I am going. No one knows Eve and the Senior Partners like I do. You *need* me to go."
Angel measured his response carefully, choosing his words so there would be no misunderstanding. "I'm going to say this one time and one time only. You go to see Eve and you're going to get spanked. In fact, if you don't go home where I told you to *stay* this morning, you're going to get spanked."
Lindsey's mouth fell open, words failing him. Angel had warned him he would punish him, spank him even, but Lindsey saw it as a manipulative threat, not a reality. Simply a way for Angel to remind Lindsey who was dominant.
"I told you when you got hurt the last time that I'd spank you if I had to, and I meant it. You go home and rest like I told you. You are not to be around Eve." Angel paused to let his words sink in and saw retreat on Lindsey's face. "Are we finished with this now?"
"Yes," Lindsey snapped sullenly.
"Good. I want you to go home and stay in bed. No TV, no computer. Spend the time thinking about why you need to do as you're told."
"What, you're grounding me?" Lindsey asked. If he hadn't been so angry, he might find the situation amusing.
"Yes, and I'd suggest you go home like you were told before I decide that isn't enough," Angel said.
"Fine," Lindsey spat as he headed toward the door.
"Lindsey."
Lindsey stopped mid-stride and turned to face Angel. "What?"
"I'll see you later this evening."
Without another word, Lindsey stalked out, letting the door close with a satisfying slam. He wasn't going to stay in bed all day, he sulked as he went home. Angel might be bigger but Lindsey wasn't afraid of him. He wasn't going to be controlled by some intimidating threats.
He plopped down on the sofa and turned the television on rebelliously, watching although there was nothing on that interested him. After watching mindless television for a few hours, he fought drifting off to sleep simply because Angel had told him to rest. He went to the kitchen to get a beer and twisted the cap off.
"Doesn't look like resting to me."
Lindsey almost leapt from his skin. "Spike. You scared the shit out of me. I didn't hear you come in."
"Lucky for you it was me stopping by to check on you and not Angel. He gets a little grouchy when people don't do what he says and it seems to me I remember him saying something about you resting."
"I'm not a kid. I'm not fragile, either."
Spike mouth curled up in a grin. "No, but you are delicate. Or a delicacy, rather."
"I'm serious, Spike."
"Who said I wasn't?" Spike covered Lindsey's lips with a deep kiss, his tongue searching and exploring Lindsey's mouth.
Lost in the kiss, Lindsey almost forgot his focus. "What happened with Eve?"
"Nothing. We couldn't get a damn thing out of her."
"What? Nothing?"
"Nada, zilch, zero."
Lindsey took a deep breath. "I'm going to talk to her."
Spike threw his blond head back in laughter. "Do you have a death wish?"
"She won't hurt me."
Spike raised his eyebrows. "I'm not talking about her."
"I have to do this. I know the Senior Partners and this sarcophagus thing has their fingerprints all over it."
"And…?"
"Eve knows more than she's telling. I can get her to talk."
"I wouldn't do it, Lindsey. Angel will be seriously pissed," he said. "Seriously."
"Not if he understands why I did it."
"It wouldn't matter if God himself came down and told you to go after Eve."
Lindsey licked his lips nervously. "I'll just have to risk it."
"You're good-looking, lover. But not the brightest bulb," Spike said, linking his arms around Lindsey.
"I can't help it, Spike. I need to do this. I'll be back by the time he gets home."
"Better hope you are."
"I have to do this."
"You'll regret it. Wait until I'm gone back to the office so I'll be none the wiser. We'll be back later. You best be, too."
"Quit worrying," Lindsey said. "I'll be fine."
Angel came out of the bedroom, his face drawn in a frown. "Lindsey's not in bed."
"He isn't?" Spike asked curiously. He glanced at the clock. Two hours. He should have been gone and back, no doubt about it.
"He was here when you came by?"
"Yeah. He was still mad at you, but here."
"Eve," Angel said. "If he went to her…"
"Guess we're heading out to check."
"Let's stop by the office and pick up Gunn. There's no telling what we might find."
Eve opened the door and stared at the three men. "Back so soon?"
Angel pushed his way inside followed by Spike and Gunn. "Where is he?"
Eve said nonchalantly, "Who? Lindsey? You missed him. Sorry."
Angel rounded on her, his huge frame towering over the slight woman. "Eve. I won't hesitate to break you in half."
"I'm shaking," she said flippantly. "I don't have your little boyfriend. The Senior Partners wanted him."
Angel felt a sinking in his heart. "They took him?"
"What did they do with him?" Spike demanded to know.
"Did they—did they kill him?" Angel asked.
"Death would be too good for Lindsey. They want him to suffer. He's in hell."
"There are all sorts of hell," Spike said. "Be more specific."
"It's the worst sort of hell," Eve repeated.
"I don't care if it's toy poodle hell," Angel said angrily. "You need to tell us where!"
Gunn interrupted. "I know where he is. And I can get us in."
They walked through the corporate garage of Wolfram and Hart, the three men on a mission.
"Senior Partners had trouble with a guy from their Tokyo office awhile back," Gunn explained. "They sent him to this place."
"And you think wherever they sent that guy is where they sent Lindsey?" Angel asked.
"Yup."
"I hope it's toy poodle hell," Spike muttered. "I've had my fill of fire hell."
"It's not hell. It's a Wolfram and Hart holding dimension," Gunn explained. "Their version of a penalty box."
"Great," Angel said. "So how are we supposed to get there?"
"Getting there is easy. Getting out is the sticky part. We have to get past something they call the Wrath."
"The Wrath?" Angel asked. "What's that?"
"That's why it's tricky. I don't know what it is." Gunn stopped in front of a dark blue sports car and tossed Angel the keys. "Ever take the Camaro?"
The car moved on its own accord, Angel's presence behind the wheel meaning nothing in where the car was maneuvering itself. They passed through the night into a long tunnel, coming out in bright daylight on the other side.
"This isn't hell," Spike uttered, looking at his surroundings. "It's fucking suburbia."
The Camaro stopped in front of a normal-looking neighborhood home and Gunn opened the car door. Angel and Spike both recoiled from the sunlight pouring in making Gunn turn to them as he reacted to their screams.
"Alternate dimension. The sun's the non-burning type, remember?" Gunn reminded the vampires.
Angel and Spike looked at each other as they tried to reclaim their pride.
"Yeah, sure," Angel said.
"We knew that," Spike added.
"You guys coming?"
They left the car and approached the door, knocking on it as if they were in any normal neighborhood in their own world.
"Don't be surprised when the door opens. Expect something ugly. This is Wolfram and Hart we're talking about," Gunn said.
The door swung open and a smiling blond woman greeted them. "Hi, may I help you?"
Angel hesitated uncertainly. It wasn't the greeting he was expecting. "Yeah, uh. Is Lindsey home?"
"Sure, come on in," she offered amiably.
They sat on the sofa and waited while the woman let Lindsey know he had visitors.
"Hi. What could I do for you gentlemen?" Lindsey asked with a smile.
"Cut the act, Ward," Spike said. "June's gone."
"Excuse me?" Lindsey asked in confusion.
"You don't know us?" Angel asked.
"Uh, no," Lindsey said. "Should I know you from the league?"
"Lindsey, I'm Angel, this is Spike and Gunn. Do you remember Wolfram and Hart? You used to work there."
"No."
Cutting to the chase, Spike said, "Nuts and bolts, none of this is real. We're here to bust you out."
Lindsey's smile vanished. "Ok, this isn't funny. I think you all need to leave."
Angel noticed an amulet hanging around Lindsey's neck, one that he hadn't seen before. "Let's see if this helps your memory," Angel said, and he yanked the necklace off his lover's neck.
Lindsey fell to his knees immediately, holding his head against the memories flooding his mind.
"Lindsey!" Angel asked anxiously.
Lindsey turned his head up as the light began to dawn. "Angel?"
Angel reached down and lifted Lindsey by the arm, holding him to keep him from staggering.
Lindsey's "wife" came around the corner and Spike said, "Oh. Hi. We were just uh, yeah, we were just showing your hubby a thing –"
His sentence was cut off by rapid fire, as the blonde woman leveled her weapon at them. The men dove behind the sofa, and Angel dragged a stunned Lindsey with him.
"Is that the Wrath?" Spike asked Gunn.
"Not sure."
"Ok," Angel said. "Spike, you and Gunn get Lindsey to the car. I'll be right behind you."
As Spike and Gunn hauled Lindsey from behind the couch, Angel threw himself at the woman, his body riddled with bullets as he approached her. He effortlessly tossed her across the room, knocking her unconscious as her head struck the wall.
The front door burst open again with Spike in the lead. "Car's gone."
"There has to be another way out," Angel said.
"Basement," Gunn suggested.
"No!" Lindsey said in alarm. "The basement is bad. We don't want to go in there."
Angel and Spike looked at each other knowingly. "Basement it is," Angel announced.
They rushed down the dark steps into another world, a world of torture and night. Spike walked over to a table and noticed a pile of discarded hearts.
Picking one up, he said, "Hearts. Wonder whose these are."
"They're mine," Lindsey said solemnly and Spike dropped the heart like it was on fire.
"Sorry."
"Spike," Angel said, gazing into a blazing furnace encased by a door made of a metal grate.
Spike walked over to Angel and looked into the flames. "I knew there would be fire," Spike said with disgust. "Why couldn't it have been toy poodles?"
"He's coming!" Lindsey said.
"Who's…" Angel couldn't finish his sentence before the thing emerged; a massive, grey being wielding a weapon and covered in armor.
"That's the way out," Gunn said, looking toward the fire. "That's the Wrath. We have to get past that thing to go through it."
The grate opened wide in a doorway to the other side but the demon blocked their escape. Spike and Angel began swinging at the monster, who tossed them aside like rag dolls.
"We can't leave without filling the void!" Gunn shouted. "We have to leave one if we're taking one."
"I'm not leaving anyone here," Angel said stubbornly as he swung at the demon again.
Spike attacked from behind but barely made a dent, feeling more an aggravation to the thing than a foe. Angel pulled at the amulet from his pocket and rushed the beast while Spike hung on from the back. The distraction gave Angel milliseconds to wrap the necklace around the demon's neck, instantly stunning him as the charm took effect.
"What did you do?" Spike asked, recognizing the beast's slowing movements.
"I filled the void," Angel said.
Gunn ran toward the doorway. "Let's get out of here. The door will close again."
The monster lay down on the table and raised his own dagger over his chest, moving in smooth mechanical strokes. As the dagger plunged into his chest, Angel jumped through the small opening to follow the others and the door slammed behind him with a bang. The world changed in an instant and the four stepped through a portal into the offices of Wolfram and Hart.
The men caught their breath and Gunn said as he dissolved into a nearby chair. "So now we know what the Wrath is."
"I don't know if it was angry, but it bloody well pissed me off," Spike said.
"You ok?" Angel asked Lindsey.
"Yeah."
"What happened back there?" Gunn asked.
"It was like I was in a segment of a gruesome TV show or something that kept replaying," Lindsey said. "Trish, my 'wife', would send me to the basement for something, and that thing would cut my heart out. Over and over."
"Let me see," Angel said, unbuttoning Lindsey's shirt, seeing nothing but smooth skin underneath. "Can't tell a thing happened."
"That's because it wasn't actually real," Gunn pointed out. "Everything there was a lie."
Lindsey nodded. "Yeah, no matter what I was doing, it was like I could feel the lie underneath everything. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew something was wrong."
Lorne burst in and saw Lindsey. "Thank God, you're alive. What were you thinking, peaches? You could have been killed."
"I was trying to help. I, uh, I did get some information," he said hopefully to Angel.
"Sit down," Angel said dismissively. "Spike. Come here. Let me see your back."
Angel lifted the black t-shirt and saw several bullet holes where Spike had been hit before he sought safety behind the couch.
"They didn't come through. We need to get those bullets out."
"What about you? You were hit, too," Spike said, reaching for the hem of Angel's shirt. He lifted it to find his lover's chest smooth and unblemished.
"I was right on top of her. They went through," Angel said. He added crossly, "Ruined another jacket though."
"I can't fix the jacket, but I can work on those bullets for Spike," Lorne offered. "I don't have Fred's soft touch but I can get them out. I'll grab some tweezers from the lab."
Lorne was back in minutes with the supplies he needed. Spike peeled his t-shirt off and sat in a chair turned around so he could lean over the back, offering his injuries to Lorne to clean up.
"Don't you want to hear what I found out?" Lindsey asked.
Angel sat next to him and said, "It had better be good."
Lindsey swallowed a knot of nerves and said, "The secret to the sarcophagus isn't in the normal books here. It goes way back in the hidden archives. That's where you'll find the information."
"Yeah, Wesley started searching those today on a long shot," Gunn said.
"Did he find out anything?" Lindsey said.
"I don't know," Angel said. "We've been kind of busy this evening."
"Ouch!" Spike exclaimed and Lorne dropped a bullet into a bowl on the table. "Careful, green jeans."
"Sorry," Lorne apologized. "I told you I don't have a soft touch."
The first cleaned-out bullet hole had started to heal before Lorne went into the second one with the large tweezers.
"Well, I think I'm going to get some sleep," Gunn said. "I'm beat."
"See you tomorrow," Angel said.
"That's it, cotton top," Lorne said, dropping the third and last bullet in the bowl.
Spike stood and rolled his shoulders then pulled his shirt back on. "Thanks," he said to Lorne.
"No problem. I'm going to head out, too."
"We're right behind you, Lorne," Angel said.
He held out a hand to Lindsey as he stood over his partner and Lindsey offered a weak smile as he placed his hand in Angel's. Apprehension twisted in his belly when Angel didn't smile back, giving Lindsey only a stern look instead.
"Ah, I've seen that look before," Spike said, waving a finger in the air. "It's his combo brooding *and* grumpy look."
"Spike," Angel hissed. "Be quiet."
When they entered the apartment Angel tossed his keys on the side table by the door. "We need to talk," he said to Lindsey.
"I'll just hang out here. Watch some TV while you two go sparring," Spike said, plopping down on the sofa.
"Are you mad at me?" Lindsey asked, nervously. "I mean, everything turned out ok—"
"Bedroom," Angel said, taking Lindsey by the arm.
Lindsey walked quickly to keep up with Angel on the way to their bedroom, his right upper arm clutched in Angel's firm grip. Angel propelled him into the room and closed the door.
"Sit down," Angel said sternly with his hands on his hips.
Lindsey went to the bed and slumped on the edge. "I had to go."
"'Had to' would mean that you were unable to stop or that some force stronger than you carried you there without any input from you. That's not what happened, is it?"
Lindsey argued, "You and Spike went and got nowhere! No one knows the Senior Partners or Eve better than I do, and I thought I could prove myself and help at the same time!"
"You had nothing to prove."
"Then why did you leave me here? You sent me home like some goddamn little kid."
"I shouldn't have had to send you home. You were never supposed to leave home today. As if just coming home from the hospital weren't enough, I didn't want you to go because it was dangerous for you, as we've all seen tonight."
"Spike went," Lindsey groused.
"He did. And Spike's been fighting demons and the like for several hundred years. He's not easy to kill. Unlike you."
"I've dealt with a lot of scary shit, too," Lindsey said.
"Not since you've been with me," Angel said evenly. "If I didn't care, I'd let you do whatever you want. In this case, we went round and round about you *not* going anywhere near Eve. Didn't we?"
"Yes, but I knew I could help! And I did! I got more out of her than you guys did."
"You also got yourself trapped in an alternate universe having your heart cut out," Angel said. "Did you happen to forget about that?"
Lindsey looked away and mumbled, "I remember."
"People had to put their lives on the line to get you out because you had trouble doing what you were told."
"I know and I'm sorry about that but at least now we have something to go on with Fred."
"Wesley had already started looking through the older archives while you were out playing hero. We could have gotten to that point without you risking your life."
"Am I part of this team or aren't I?" Lindsey demanded.
"You're a part of it. But then you're also a part of Spike's and my team. You ignored my authority on *both* teams and that's a problem."
Lindsey swallowed nervously as Angel looked hard at him. "I was trying to help."
"I know you were but that doesn't excuse what you did."
"I'm sorry," Lindsey offered.
"No one operates on this team alone, especially when I've told them not to. Understand?"
Lindsey held Angel's gaze as long as he could then dropped his eyes. "I understand."
"Good," Angel said. "I don't expect to have this conversation again."
"You won't. Ok?"
"Ok."
Lindsey got up and stalked toward the door, stopping abruptly when Angel's hand fell on his arm again. "What?" he snapped.
"We aren't finished here."
"What?" he repeated nervously. "I said it wouldn't happen again."
"We still need to deal with it happening today."
Lindsey looked up at his lover who seemed to have grown several inches taller. Lindsey was further reduced by being held by the arm, unable to go anywhere until Angel decided he should. A flutter rippled through his stomach as dark eyes drilled him, accusing and hard.
"Angel, I swear it won't happen again. I told you that."
"I hope not," Angel said, "because if it happens again after I'm done with you, I can guarantee it will be worse the next time."
"What will be worse?"
Angel looked at Lindsey without wavering. "You know what."
"You weren't serious about that. You can't really mean to – to--," Lindsey stammered, the words stuck in his throat.
"Yes, I can."
"But, I survived. *Everyone* survived. No harm done."
"That's not the point. You were warned what would happen. You ignored what I told you and did what you wanted to anyway."
Angel held onto Lindsey's arm and walked him to the edge of the bed then took a seat leaving Lindsey to stand helplessly at his side.
"Take your pants down," Angel said.
"You can't," Lindsey stammered, his hands protectively covering his fly.
"Lindsey. Take your pants down," Angel directed more firmly.
"I didn't think you were – please, Angel," he asked again.
"What? You didn't think I was serious? I was. Dead serious."
"But –" Lindsey started then uttered a nervous laugh. "Come on."
"Don't make me tell you again," Angel persisted.
Lindsey said quickly, his tone anxious, "You're overreacting, Angel. If what I did was so bad, why didn't Spike stop me?"
Angel's ebony eyes flashed. "Spike knew what you were up to?"
Lindsey smelled the slightest hint of a possible victory. "Yeah, he knew. I figured he told you how to find me."
"He knew where you were?"
"Well, yeah," Lindsey said reluctantly. "He knew I was going to talk to Eve."
Angel's grave expression sent chills down Lindsey's spine. Angel said firmly, "Regardless of what Spike knew, *you* knew what I told you. Pull your pants down. Now."
Lindsey judged the resolute expression on his lover's face and knew he meant to carry out his earlier threat. Angel was bigger than Lindsey by practically a head, and God knew he was faster. There was no running, no escape.
And he did know what Angel had said. He knew it when he left the apartment that afternoon and again when he left to see Eve. On some level, he thought maybe he did deserve it. It was just a spanking, he reasoned as the seconds ticked on. How bad could it be? It was nowhere near as scary as having his heart cut out and he survived that. Funny, he hadn't felt the same sense of dread then as he felt now.
He felt in disgrace. Seriously in disgrace.
"If I have to do it –" Angel said threateningly, letting the unfinished sentence hover menacingly between them.
Lindsey swallowed and slowly loosened his fly and lowered his pants, clutching his hands uncertainly in front of him, not knowing what to do next. Suddenly, the world tilted when Angel pulled Lindsey across his lap, his knees pressing against Lindsey's pelvis and ribcage. Lindsey's mind rushed to grasp what was happening, and tried to make sense of the peculiar reality that he was about to get spanked. His grip tightened on Angel's pant leg when Angel tugged Lindsey's underwear down.
"When I tell you not to do something, I have a reason," Angel scolded. "I warned you about taking risks. You knew better than to go to Eve alone, didn't you?"
Having a conversation face down further unnerved Lindsey and he tried to calm his racing heart. "I wanted to help and prove to you that I could hold my own."
The first stinging slap to his backside caught Lindsey off guard and he yelped out more in surprise than pain before the second one struck the other cheek.
"That is not for you decide when it means doing something I've told you not to do. Doing what you did was dangerous and I warned you about it. That's all you need to know. Are we clear on that?"
"Yes. It won't happen again," Lindsey promised, hoping the two hard swats would be it.
"Good," Angel answered simply then dashed Lindsey's hopes by meticulously spanking him, striking one cheek several times before moving to the other and repeating the process.
Lindsey was shocked at how the slow steady spanks hurt, the sting intensifying to a point Lindsey thought he couldn't handle until Angel moved to another spot. After a couple of rounds, Lindsey's backside felt as though it had been exposed to the afternoon sun for too long.
It was only Angel's hand but it hurt far more than he could have imagined. Lindsey tried to remain still and stoic in spite of how he felt inside. Even so, he heard himself begging for Angel to stop, his butt tensing with the expectation of another slap as he adjusted to Angel's rhythm.
He peddled his legs, trying to get his behind out of range, but it was no use. He was held tightly by Angel's firm grip. He couldn't take any more!
"Angel, stop it!" he asked, hating the sound of his voice cracking.
He couldn't keep still. He had to move, get out of the way, but no matter how much he struggled, Angel's arm held him fast across his lower back leaving him no hope of escape until Angel was finished.
A lump the size of a golf ball formed in Lindsey's throat as the muscles constricted to hold back tears. He wasn't going to cry, he wasn't! He managed to stave off the tears until Angel increased both the velocity and intensity of the spanks, sending Lindsey over the edge. He heard his own voice as he allowed himself to break down, the sobs coming in short strained bursts despite his efforts to keep them at bay.
"Stop, please stop," he asked tearfully, collapsing over the large man's thighs. "Please."
After a few more smacks, Angel's hand quit falling and he said, "Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again, Lindsey. If you do, the next time I have to do this will make this time look like a cake walk. Do you understand me?"
"Ye--yes," Lindsey acknowledged, broken and contrite.
To Lindsey's dismay, Angel started spanking him again, but thankfully only delivered a few extra swats for good measure.
Lindsey tried to get control of himself and distance his mind from the burning pain in his behind. He became aware that Angel was stroking his back tenderly. He wasn't mad anymore? Even if he wasn't mad, was he disappointed? How would he meet Angel's eye?
Angel lifted Lindsey effortlessly from his lap and settled him right-side up in his arms, cradling him.
"I want you to understand something. This ordeal is over now. I'm not mad. I'm not upset. I'm not disappointed in you."
Had Angel read his mind? He didn't know what to say.
"I love you, Lindsey. You've become very important to me. I don't want anything to happen to you, and if that means I have to punish you, then I'm more than willing to do it."
Angel hugged Lindsey tightly and Lindsey couldn't help hugging him back. He felt punished, no doubt about it, but he also felt safe, contented.
"I was trying to help," Lindsey said quietly.
"Nearly getting killed doesn't help," Angel said with a grin.
"That wasn't the plan," Lindsey said forlornly.
"I know. You wanted to help, but that meant doing something I specifically told you not to do. That's your defining line, Lindsey. If I tell you not to do something, you don't do it."
Right then, Lindsey had no intention of crossing the vampire again.
"I won't."
Angel gave him another tight hug then urged him off his lap. Lindsey immediately pulled his underwear up, gently stretching them over his burning butt. He did the same with his jeans, regretting the act but wanting things to be as close to normal as they could be after the whole embarrassing ordeal.
Angel stood up in front of Lindsey and said, "Look at me."
He couldn't! How could he ever look at Angel again! He brushed at the wetness on his cheeks and Angel took his face in his hands.
"Look at me," he repeated.
Lindsey raised eyes as blue as crystal to look at Angel. "It's over," Angel said. "Do you understand?"
"Yes," Lindsey said, almost tearing up again. Emotions warred within him, leaving him choked up and uncertain.
Angel leaned down and tenderly kissed Lindsey. "Ok. Why don't you stay in here for a little while? I'll be back to check on you."
"Where are you going?" Lindsey asked in alarm. As much as he dreaded facing Angel again, being separated from him seemed somehow worse.
"It's ok. I'll be back in a few minutes. I need to have a talk with Spike."
Lindsey had forgotten all about Spike. There was no way Spike would let Lindsey off the hook without teasing him. It wasn't going to be over by a long shot.
Lindsey asked in dismay, "Will he know… know about…"
"I'm sure he does. He knows me and knows what happens when he breaks the rules."
"Spike, too?" Lindsey felt a moment of relief at the prospect of Spike being punished the same way when he stepped wrong. That might keep his jabs at bay. He should understand how Lindsey was feeling.
"Yes, Spike, too. Are you going to be ok here for a little while?"
"Yeah," Lindsey said, reluctantly.
Lindsey stretched out on his stomach, laying his head on his folded arms as Angel left the room.
Spike looked up at Angel as he entered the kitchen without Lindsey.
"How is he?" Spike asked, setting an empty glass tinged with blood into the sink.
"He'll live."
"I gotta say, you didn't go nearly as hard on him as you do on me," Spike said.
"He's not immortal like you are nor a vampire. Which is why chasing after Eve alone was not very smart."
Spike blew out a breath and said, "No, pretty stupid."
"Yet… you didn't try to stop him."
Spike looked at Angel in stunned silence.
Angel closed in on Spike and crossed his arms. "Not only did you let him go, you didn't bother to tell me about it."
Spike's silence was broken by a flash of temper and he stood to his feet. "It was private," he spat. "You know, between Lindsey and me."
"We don't keep secrets in this relationship, Spike."
"Oh, really?" Spike said with a half-grin. "That's not what you said when you kicked me out of your office."
"There's a difference between privacy and secrecy and you know it. Lindsey could have been killed. *We* could have been killed rescuing him."
"I didn't think he was going to get hurt. Eve is a little bag of bones."
"The Senior Partners aren't. You should have stopped him or at the very least told me he was going."
"Pri-vate," Spike said in a singsong voice.
"You kept it a secret from me. That is different."
Spike shrugged. "Don't see it," he said stubbornly.
"Let me see if I can help you understand," Angel said. "Go to the spare bedroom and wait for me. Lindsey's in ours."
"Might know you'd want to punish me for something you did."
"Spike," Angel growled. "You're not making this any better. Go."
Spike got up from the table and grumbled as he stalked down the hall. "It's not exactly fair that you get to keep secrets and I don't. I'm assuming Lindsey's not allowed either," he tossed over his shoulder toward Angel.
"Spike!" Angel warned, his patience growing thin.
"What?! It's true. You keep secrets and it's no big deal. I keep one and end up sunnyside up over your lap. What's good for the goose is good for –"
"Stay here," Angel said through gritted teeth as he left Spike in the guest room.
"Oh, don't tell me you're going for that bleedin' paddle," Spike complained.
"If this doesn't call for a paddling, I don't know what does. I'll be back."
He returned in less than a minute with not only the paddle, but with Lindsey by his side. Lindsey's eyes flicked around the room uncomfortably as he searched for something to look at that didn't look back.
Angel took a seat on the bed and laid the paddle beside him.
"Ok, Spike. You convinced me. Secrets don't belong between us. Ever. From here on out, that will apply to me as well as the two of you. Are we all clear on that?"
"Yes," Lindsey answered quickly and quietly.
"Can't make it retroactive where it can apply to you, too?" Spike asked.
"I can't change the past. Clear?"
"Crystal," Spike answered.
"Good. Come here then and pull your pants down."
Spike's mouth opened in a cavern as he looked from Angel to Lindsey and back again. "With – with him in--? Angel, you've lost your marbles."
"I haven't lost a thing. Come here and do like I said."
Lindsey's wide eyes weren't lost on Angel. He had slipped his hands behind him as though he were in for it again and that it might happen with Spike in the room now.
"You can't do this with him in here!" Spike argued with a finger darted toward Lindsey.
Angel looked confused. "I don't understand. What's the problem?"
"You *know* what the problem is," Spike said.
"I don't think I do. No secrets means no secrets. For me or for the two of you."
"This isn't a bloody secret! It's—it's--," Spike stammered.
Angel's eyebrows rose as he waited for Spike to complete the sentence then finished it for him. "Private?"
Spike scowled at Angel, his lips pursed in frustration. "Damn you, Angel," he muttered.
"I'm already damned, but thanks for the thought," Angel said without blinking at the comment. "Are we clear now on the difference between secrecy and privacy?"
"I get it," Spike answered.
"Lindsey, go back to our room," Angel directed and Lindsey disappeared quickly.
As soon as the door closed, Angel crooked a finger at Spike. "Right now," he said.
"You have a way of making a point," Spike said as he lowered his jeans then lay across Angel's lap.
"As long as you understand."
"I got it already so there really isn't a need to –"
"Oh, yes, there is," Angel differed as he brought the paddle down.
Lindsey was mortified as he overhead snatches of what was going on in the other room. If he could hear Spike then Spike had to have heard him; likely the whole thing given Spike's hearing abilities.
Great. Just great, he groused to himself. He buried his head in his arms, humiliated beyond anything he had ever felt before and his butt still hurt. The burning in his backside had diminished to a dull throb but it was still smarting.
What had he gotten himself into? He had no idea how to move on, how to act like it was over and done with no matter what Angel told him. He was hurt and embarrassed, which was far worse than anything he had been involved in during his stint at Wolfram and Hart. Danger was no stranger to him; he had often felt the stir of fear churning in his belly, but never had he felt so… so…
The bedroom door opened and Lindsey saw a silhouette topped by a crop of bleached blonde hair. Lindsey turned his head from the door and faced the other way.
"Mind if I join you?" Spike asked.
"I'd kind of like to be alone," Lindsey said to the wall. "I'm not really looking for company right now."
"Well, I'm not leaving," Spike said, kicking off his shoes then stepping out of his pants.
"You know," Lindsey said in a snit as he rose up on his elbows. "I didn't get involved with the two of you so you could push me around all the time."
"It's my bedroom, too," Spike said, "not to mention it was mine first."
He crawled onto the bed and hugged the pillow next to Lindsey. Lindsey huffed and curled up on his side away from Spike, wincing with the movement.
"Hurts less if you take your pants off," Spike counseled knowingly.
"I can take it," Lindsey said.
"Don't be a hero," Spike said.
Lindsey rolled toward Spike and propped on his elbows again. "This doesn't bother you at all?"
Spike snorted. "Hell, yes, it bothers me. My arse is on fire right now."
Lindsey couldn't help risking a quick look at his lover's crimson rear. Dear God, did his own ass look as red as Spike's?
"Are you ok?" he asked Spike.
"Yeah. It gets redder if I've recently eaten and I had a pint of blood just before he came and whisked me away. He never hurts me beyond making my arse red as a fire truck. What about you?"
Lindsey looked away and said, "Hurts."
"Lindsey, take your jeans off. It does help."
Lindsey gave up and slipped from the bed, and unfastened his jeans. Sliding them down his legs brought a new flush to his cheeks as it reminded him of pulling them down for Angel earlier.
"I don't know how you deal with this," he said stepping out of his jeans and leaving his underwear in place.
"It's no big deal," Spike said casually. "Just a fact of life. We fuck up bad enough, Angel spanks us. Big deal."
"It *is* a big deal," Lindsay said as he lay back down beside Spike. "It's embarrassing."
"That's part of the punishment," Spike said. "Haven't you ever been spanked before?"
"Not since I was a very little kid."
"Well, where Angel and I come from, it wasn't reserved for just kids. Couples did it in our day on occasion and Angel's an old-fashioned kind of guy. Not real uncommon in the old days even if people didn't talk about it."
"Not in my day," Lindsey said.
"For what it's worth, it works," Spike said. "Much as I hate it at the time, it's kind of nice knowing he's in control. But if you ever tell him I said that, I'll kill you."
Spike was right, Lindsey realized. Angel had everything under control and knowing his strength was there to rely on was a good feeling.
Spike put his arm across Lindsey's back and pulled him close. "Things will look brighter when your arse isn't so lit up. You just feel like shit now."
"Yeah, I do," Lindsey agreed.
"Oh," Spike said casually. "I'm supposed to apologize for not stopping you when you told me you were going to see Eve."
"You're not sorry?" Lindsey asked with a hint of a smile.
"Oh, sure, I am," Spike said with feigned sincerity. "About as sorry as you are for ratting me out to Angel."
Lindsey couldn't help but smile. "I had to do something. I figured if I could get his attention on you, it would take it off of me."
"Uh, no. Angel knows how to multi-task. He's also stubborn as a mule and wouldn't let something like what you did go if the city was falling down around him. He'd spank you then go save the city."
"Great." Lindsey laughed.
Talking so openly about what had happened helped to squash his embarrassment enough to focus on the good aspects of the type of relationship he was in. Angel had been right: Lindsey was warned. He just never thought Angel would actually go through with it. He wouldn't make that mistake again.
"I guess we both got what we deserved," Lindsey said.
"Speak for yourself," Spike said. "Never admit you deserved it. Gives him a big head."
Lindsey smiled at Spike's sarcasm and cuddled closer to him. Angel came in the room and found his lovers entwined in each other's arms.
"Can the bad guy lie down with you?" he asked with a smile.
"Go away," Spike said. "We're protesting."
Angel pulled his shirt overhead and started unzipping his pants. "Really? Against what?"
"Evil vampires who torture their lovers," Spike said petulantly.
"Is there an evil vampire around here?" Angel asked as he pulled off his pants.
With his eyes cut over to Angel, Spike said, "I'm looking at him."
"Move over," Angel said and he crawled between them. He opened his arms and embraced the two men on either side of him, holding them close, a brown-haired head resting on one shoulder, and a blond on the other. "You two really know how to keep a guy on his toes."
"You love us just the same," Spike said.
Angel kissed the top of Lindsey's head, noting his silence. "You ok?"
"Yeah," Lindsey said simply.
"Spike's right, you know. I do love you both. If I didn't, I wouldn't care what you did."
"Oh, please," Spike said. "And it hurt you worse than us, I suppose."
"No, it didn't hurt me at all," Angel said with a grin. "Well, maybe my hand a little, but I'm ok."
"Har har," Spike said. "Go back to brooding. You're not funny."
"Lindsey," Angel said. "Wake me if you need to."
"Ok," Lindsey said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"It'll be like waking the dead," Spike muttered with his eyes closed.
"It *will* be waking the dead," Lindsey said with a hint of humor in his voice.
Angel smiled to himself. Lindsey would be fine, he was sure of it.
End
