Butt Protection 101
By Zach Bartholomew
I found this little essay of Zach’s on the computer when I was doing some work of my own. Knowing my brat and his sense of humor, I assume he meant this to be funny. I decided to add some commentary for any tops that may encounter Zach’s suggested moves while trying to teach the brats in their care a needed lesson. My comments are in red, which seemed appropriate given the subject matter.
Nelson
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The following is a guide for brats everywhere in butt protection. Please note that I have collaborated with another brat (thanks Benji!) to compile these suggestions, but they are intended as guides only. While many, if not all, have been tested, results cannot be guaranteed. These tips may not keep a brat from getting spanked, but may be helpful in providing damage control.
Zach
OVER THE KNEE SPANKINGS
Hand to butt: Reach the hand furthest from your partner around you to cover your bottom. You should try to get your hand as close to the middle of your butt and spread your fingers in order to get the most protection and coverage possible. Use caution if you are being spanked with an implement of any sort. If you think your butt is tender, try getting your fingers snagged by a paddle.
A hand is a small thing in proportion to a brat’s butt, even if his fingers are spread. If the brat attempts this move, which is likely without having heard the advice above, the top needs only to concentrate on those areas not covered by the hand. The thighs are an easy target as well as any part of the brat’s bottom that remains exposed. Several swats in the same place will encourage your brat to get his hand out of the way. Another effective method is to grasp the hand and pull it into the small of the brat’s back, effectively keeping him from getting in your way again.
Kicking: Kicking doesn’t do a lot to protect the butt, as any brat knows. In my experience, this method hasn’t been found to be successful in getting the butt out of range. The only way this may work would be to kick hard enough to catapult you off your top’s lap. (Not recommended.)
Even though kicking is not recommended, it is a known problem for tops so I’ll address it. If your brat is a kicker, simply cross your leg over his, preventing them from moving. Keep your brat across your other leg and use the bed, sofa or wherever you’re sitting to support his upper body and hold him tight to you with your arm. This method will quickly still a brat who insists on a lot of kicking and squirming. It will pin the brat in place keeping his bottom still so you can get the job done with less resistance.
Multiple layers of clothing: This will only work if your top does not insist on bare-bottomed spankings (like mine). Wear multiple layers of underwear to provide padding between your butt and your tops hand/implement. Be sure not to wear too many pair of underwear or you’ll certainly draw attention to yourself. You may end up at the doctor’s office if your top thinks you’re suddenly deformed.
This should never be a problem. A brat learns best when over the knees of his top with his pants down for a spanking. Pull every pair of pants and underpants down he may be wearing and proceed on his bare behind.
Run: If you have enough distance between you and your top before the spanking starts, you can try this method if you are feeling extremely brave and your top is a slow runner. You’d better be fast because this form of evasion has been known to make tops extremely chappy and only works in the short term.
If you have a brat who chooses to run, do not chase him. He will come back when he has calmed and should then be punished for both the original offense and for having run from you (you know better, Zach).
Cry: Don’t be ashamed to cry miserably and quickly. Promise your top how you’ll never, ever repeat the offense no matter what and do it through your crocodile tears. Have a selection of memorized sad stories filed away to reference so you’ll start crying quickly, but don’t think about them too much before they are needed. They could lose their effectiveness. If you can’t think of a sad tale, just think of a sore tail and that should do the trick.
Never judge when a spanking should stop simply by your brat’s pleas for mercy and his tears. Always listen for when the cries turn to repentance before you stop a spanking since that is your signal that the message has been delivered. Don’t worry. This type of crying cannot be faked.
THE STANDING SPANKING (Note: these apply to swats, too, for those of us who have tops into multi-swatting, like mine.)
Hand to butt: See above.
If you find you brat covering his bottom with his hand during a standing spanking, you can always put him across your lap. He is easier to control in this position. Once you have him over your lap, if he still insists on getting his hand in the way, employ the tips suggested under “Hand to Butt” above.
Arch the back: Brats are generally more nimble than their tops so you should be able to arch your back enough to move your butt out of the way. Rising up on your toes will allow you to arch your back further, putting more distance between your butt and your top’s hand and/or implement.
This doesn’t work. Enough said.
Keep feet in motion: Never quit moving your feet when in this position. It is a close cousin to kicking when over the knee, but when standing it offers a chance of escape. Typically, the top has a grip on the brat’s arm preventing him from running but there is always a chance that with enough movement, the grip will loosen and you can get away.
See my comments under “Run” above.
Turn butt to the side: If your top is one to grip the upper arm while spanking in this position, the brat should be able to swing his hips away from the top to the opposite side as if trying to face him. The top will still catch up, but it might save you a swat or two. He’ll end up practically dancing with you and that should tire him out enough to shorten the spanking.
If your brat tries this move, simply pull him closer to you and continue with your efforts. Instead of saving your brat a swat or two, you should add on a couple of extra swats for defiance.
Distance: Whenever you can tell your top is cranky, always maintain a healthy, pain-free distance. You should be able to tell when he is chappy because he will be all over your back for practically nothing. Stay out of his way when you see the signs. If you see him coming toward you wearing a look of determination, move quickly. Hopefully, your top is older with slower reflexes and you can put more distance between you if needed. If he gets close enough to snag your arm, you are basically toast.
This sounds an awful lot like running to me. In case it is meant to be different, I’ll add another comment. If your brat is pushing the limits, which is typically why a top would be cranky (aka, chappy), it is highly doubtful he is of the right frame of mind to even think of putting distance between you. Although a “talking to” or several warnings typically precede an actual spanking or swatting, brats don’t seem to anticipate a top’s move until it is too late. A better way for a brat to save his butt is to just stop doing whatever is making his top angry.
BEDTIME SPANKINGS
Covers: Covers are good for mainly one thing and that is providing some cushion. Grip them firmly to you so you don’t lose your hold during the spanking.
Tops who have encountered this move probably already know that when you flip your brat over, the covers are underneath him and the only cushion he’ll have is whatever is offered by way of clothing on his bottom. At any rate, he should be pulled from the bed and spanked properly so the covers shouldn’t be an issue.
On your back: Try to stay on your back as long as possible. Your top will no doubt turn you over, but it may help to buy some time. If he doesn’t have you pinned down, you can always flip back over on your back to provide further protection.
Just put him across your lap and be done with it. That way, you’ll avoid any problems with the covers or strategic positioning.
Sleep: If you have been sent to your room to wait for a bedtime spanking, you are in luck. Quickly get under the covers and pretend to be asleep. Any top with half a heart will wait until the next day and if you are lucky, he may forget it by morning.
Any good top, including those with half a heart, knows a brat facing a spanking cannot go to sleep that easily unless there are extenuating circumstances. If your brat appears to have fallen quickly asleep pending a spanking, just get him up and continue with your mission. He’s faking it. If you chose to wait until morning, don’t worry, you won’t forget.
BEFORE A SPANKING (While these tips have never been known to be effective in avoiding a spanking, we have no proof that they don’t lessen the severity.)
Bambi eyes: Raise your eyebrows in the center and open your eyes wide, but not too wide (you want Bambi, not deer in the headlights). If you can manage a few tears at this point, it accentuates the sad eyes and makes this more effective. A pout helps here as well.
Your brat may have beautiful eyes, but don’t let this fool you. Bambi eyes are typically a result of the brat finding himself in trouble more so than from contrition. Keep focused on why you are punishing your brat and not his reaction to it.
Pleading: It never hurts to beg. As with crying, don’t be too proud to give it a try. Be careful with this one because if overdone, it can inflame the situation and your butt.
By the time a brat is to this stage, the top has already decided a spanking is in order and no amount of pleading should change that decision. Move quickly to the spanking at this point since your brat is no longer hearing anything you say and is totally focused on saving his rear end. As with Bambi eyes, stay focused on the task at hand.
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And that's our take on butt protection...if good behavior doesn't do the trick.
Thanks for reading,
Nelson & Zach
