Jackson Chapter Three
by Nelson
The Director of Alphas crossed his ankle over his knee and balanced a notepad in his lap. "Shall we get started then?" Emerson asked.
Jonas and Taggert sat hand in hand on the sofa in the director's office. "Sounds good to us," Jonas said.
"We've covered a lot of information in the meetings we've had together. This one is mainly to tie up any loose ends."
Jonas and Taggert nodded.
"It's getting close to your commitment ceremony. How do you feel?" Emerson asked.
"Nervous," Jonas grinned. "But elated."
"Me, too," Taggert added. "We're so happy, but a bit overwhelmed at the same time. We want everything to be perfect."
Ryan leaned forward from the nearby armchair and assured them, "That's perfectly normal. It shows me that you have Jackson's best interests in mind."
"We know it's going to be a lot of give and take, a lot of trial and error, but the fewer errors, the better," Jonas stated.
"That's what we're here for," Brad spoke up. "Like we've discussed the last few times we all got together, we can help you prepare for a lot of things from our experience, and the rest you'll work out on your own. And, please, never hesitate to call me. I plan to work closely with you for several months."
"We appreciate it, Brad. No one knows Jackson like you do," Taggert acknowledged.
"He'll be a big help and support for you. Use him," Emerson urged. "Let's pick up where we left off last time. Have you two thought any more about what we discussed?"
"We have," Taggert confirmed. "At first we had thought one of us would handle all the corporal punishment; for consistency and to distinguish who was responsible for what."
"We've thought about what you said and we agree. It would make whoever took on that role the bad guy, so to speak. We hadn't considered that, and I can tell you, I don't want to be the bad guy every time," Jonas chuckled.
"Neither do I," Taggert echoed.
Ryan nodded. "Good decision. A Cen feels extremely vulnerable after being spanked and he could easily pit one of you against the other."
"That's right," Emerson added. "We could see Jackson trying to get the 'good guy', for lack of a better word, on his side. Not to mention the wedge it could create if he sees the disciplinarian as the eminent bad guy."
"And we certainly don't want that," Taggert said. "We're trying really hard to be three couples rather than a threesome, if that makes sense."
"I like that," Ryan acknowledged. "You each have different hobbies and interests and it only makes sense to have three strong relationships."
"That’s why we've each visited separately as well as together," Jonas replied.
"So what did you come up with on discipline in your home?" Emerson asked, gently moving the conversation back on topic.
"We talked with Brad a lot to identify different areas of need that Jackson has," Jonas advised. "We knew several just from spending time with him and getting to know him better, but Brad filled in a lot of holes."
Taggert said, "We sat down with the list and based on our own strengths, we each took an area to be in charge of. Does that make sense?"
"Keep going," Emerson encouraged, as he scribbled notes onto his tablet.
"Well, take his studies for example," Taggert explained. "Math is a problem for him and a strength for me, so I'll be in charge of all his studies as far as making sure his work gets done on time. Coaching him, that sort of thing."
"We decide together what courses he should take, all of us sitting down and discussing his schedule and needs," Jonas added. "But if he misses an assignment or something like that, Taggert deals with it."
"Good. What else?" Emerson urged.
"Um," Taggert hesitated and reached for his notebook on the end table. After flipping through several pages, he scanned his notes and said, "Punctuality is a problem Brad's identified. Jonas will be in charge of scheduling, making sure Jackson gets where he needs to be and home on time."
"Like what?" Emerson inquired.
"Say he's due to go to the dentist. I'll be sure he makes the appointment, reminding him to go. Then if he goes out with friends or something like that, I'll make sure he knows what time I expect him home and deal with it if he's late."
"You have a list there?" Ryan asked.
"Yes," Taggert said. "Would you like to see it?"
"Please," Ryan requested, reaching toward Taggert. He looked over the list and nodded his approval. "You've put a lot of thought into this. I'm impressed."
Emerson took the notebook Ryan handed him and reviewed the work Jonas and Taggert had done. "Good job, gentlemen."
"Have you been involved with any discipline yet?" Ryan asked.
"CP or in general?" Taggert queried.
"Both."
"We've both been involved in general," Taggert reported.
"Like we do with any matched couple at this point, I call them any time I need to punish Jackson with more than a swat or reprimand," Brad said. "I touch base with one, then the other to be sure we all agree."
"Is that working?" Emerson asked.
"It is," Brad said. "Having them divide the areas will make it easier, but so far, it's just meant two phone calls sometimes."
"So you haven't participated in CP with Jackson?" Emerson asked the Visiting Alphas.
"No, I haven't," Jonas said. "Not to actually administer a spanking. But the last time I came out alone, Brad had to spank him and I was there and part of the decision to do it."
"How did that make you feel?" Emerson inquired.
Jonas ran a hand down his pantleg and admitted, "Uncomfortable."
"How so?" Emerson asked.
"Because it was personal that time. I mean, I've been through the classes, watched the videos, given a spanking in the hands-on class, but those guys weren't Jackson."
Ryan smiled and said, "Spanking a volunteer from the BDSM community isn't the same as spanking someone you love, is it?"
"Not at all," Jonas said solemnly. "Part of me wanted to stop Brad, but the other part of me knew it had to happen. It was hard to watch. I think I needed comforting as much as Jackson afterward."
"Don't expect that to change," Brad said. "You'll need to reconnect as much as he will, whether you're doling out the consequences or Taggert."
"I believe it. It hurt to hear him upset and knowing I had a part in getting him to that point," Jonas confided. "But I felt better afterward. Brad held him for a while, then I took over. We sat together for a long time."
"That's good," Ryan approved. "Taggert, how have you been involved?"
"Well, I did more than observe," he said. "Like Jonas, I was here by myself. Jonas was on the way but wasn't due in until the next day. Jackson got in a scuffle with Ashton and – well, you know the rules on fighting."
"Yes. Non-negotiable," Ryan said. "He got spanked."
"Yeah, he did. Brad felt like it was time for us to handle the CP so he coached me a little, then sat in."
"How did that go?" Emerson asked.
"Ok, I guess."
"It went fine," Brad offered confidently. "I knew Taggert was a little nervous but only because he told me he was."
"I was more worried than nervous."
"How so?" Ryan pried gently.
"I worried about several things while it was happening. First that he'd hate me for doing it then that he'd be too embarrassed to face me. Either way, I didn't think he'd want much to do with me afterward."
"And were your fears confirmed?" Emerson asked.
"No. He was a little hesitant with me right at first, but as soon as I held him, he relaxed and held onto me, too."
"You'll need to be sure you're both involved in comforting afterward when you cross this bridge later," Ryan advised. "Keep the unit together as much as possible."
"Ryan's right," Emerson said. "Even if one of you happens to be administering a spanking, if the other can be there to provide a united front you should do it. You should be involved as often as you can during and after discipline."
"I'm not sure about that," Ryan disagreed. "I was talking about them both being involved afterward. It's a fine line you have to walk between a united front and ganging up on him. It could easily look that way to Jackson. What do you think, Brad?"
"I think it's a good point. Jackson is insecure for many reasons, so it would be easy for him to feel like it's two against one. But at the same time…" he trailed off, shaking his head.
"So should we do it together or not?" Taggert inquired, looking from one Alpha to the other.
Brad thought for a moment and sighed. "You know, my gut tells me you should. The more united you are in discipline with him, the better. I could see him going to the partner who wasn't involved for comfort and not reconnecting with the one who did it, if he doesn't see that the decision came from both of you."
"Good point, Brad," Ryan said, nodding. "Jackson has a propensity to shut down, so it would make him more inclined to go to the other partner and close off the one who punished him."
Emerson said, "That makes sense. All three of you definitely need to reconnect afterward, no matter who administers the spanking. We're all agreed on that?"
"Definitely," Ryan concurred without hesitation, and Brad echoed his agreement.
“You haven’t spanked him at all, Jonas?”
Jonas took a deep breath and shook his head. “No, and I’m a little - not worried, but apprehensive? - about it.”
“Why?”
“For the same reasons Taggert pointed out. It’s going to be tough the first time I have to do it.”
Emerson smiled and said, “Welcome to the wonderful world of Alphas.”
The other Alphas in the room chuckled knowingly.
“The mechanics of it will be the same as in the class on CP. It's just with Jackson, you have the emotional piece that was missing from the lab in class," Emerson explained.
“I haven't had the lab in the CP class for over five years,” Jonas pointed out.
Emerson began flipping through a folder. "You were signed up for the refresher."
"I took the class but had a scheduling conflict so I missed the lab," Jonas admitted.
Emerson looked to the Director of Cens. "Ryan, do you think we should set one up for him?"
Ryan laughed and pointed out, “It’s not rocket science. I think he'll be fine.”
“He will,” Brad agreed. “Like I told Taggert, no matter how you feel when you’re doing it, you need to be sure of yourself and strong for Jackson. He can’t smell hesitation in your decision.”
“How do you do that?” Jonas inquired.
“It comes naturally after a while,” Ryan advised. “The first few times will be the hardest, especially the very first time. Take a deep breath, put your insecurities aside, and get the job done. Remember that if you threaten it, you’d better be prepared to follow through.”
“Follow-through is key,” Emerson counseled. “If you keep threatening with no action, you’ll lull him into a sense that it isn’t going to happen. No consequences, no behavioral change. If you feel strongly enough to threaten him with a spanking, you need to be equally strong in delivering.”
“Emerson’s right,” Brad agreed. “And with Jackson, he needs a firm hand. He’ll push until he finds the wall. That wall is you and your decisions. Be the wall. Give him the boundaries he needs.”
“You’ll all be happier if you do,” Ryan nodded in agreement. “I guarantee it. The more you do it, the more it will become second nature, and not so uncomfortable. You’ll get to know him, his responses, what to look for.”
“And don’t worry about getting it perfect the first time. Just do it when you need to,” Brad said.
“Right,” Ryan said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “At first, you’ll be focused on the mechanics, remembering what you’ve learned here. You’ll develop your own style over time. The style that works best for you and Jackson.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Jonas said.
“It is,” Brad agreed. “Like Ryan said, it’s not rocket science. It’s all about knowing your partner and spanking him enough to get him to that point where he’s learning. You’ll know it when you see it.”
“I could tell when I spanked him,” Taggert told him. “Brad's right. It’s clear when it happens. It was more body language than anything.”
“It’s absolutely body language. Body language and response,” Ryan said.
"And with Jackson, you have the added dimension of him shutting down," Brad reminded them. "Sometimes, it's harder to get through to him. He's a master mason at building walls."
Emerson steepled his fingertips thoughtfully. "Another good reason to be united. It will give him double the support. I think Brad was right in his recommendation for both of you to be involved when he's punished."
“How about a place?" Ryan asked. "Do you have a designated place to handle CP at home?”
“The guest bedroom upstairs,” Taggert said. “It’s neutral.”
“Good." Emerson jotted another note. "Now, I know we've talked a lot about transition in past meetings, but I think it bears repeating. Be prepared to expect Jackson to test you at first."
"Many Cens don't do change well," Ryan said with a smile. "Even when it's good change."
"No, they don't," Emerson agreed. "We're not saying for you to nitpick him or anything like that, but you need to be aware and prepared to be firm."
"That's so important for Jackson on a normal day, even more so during a stressful time" Brad said. "He needs to know that despite how he's feeling, how vulnerable things seem, that you're in full control. He'll settle in much faster and calm down if he feels secure."
"Call Brad if you need to," Emerson said.
"Please," Brad encouraged them. "Any time."
Emerson laid his pen down and notebook. "Well. I don’t feel like we have any loose ends. Does anyone else?”
His eyes went to each man in the room and each one agreed. “In that case,” he said, standing and extending a hand, “I’d like to wish you men the best of luck. I think you’re going to be extremely happy together. It’s a good match.”
“Thank you,” Jonas said, shaking Emerson’s hand.
“Don’t think we’re done with you,” Ryan said. “Please let us know if anything comes up. Even if you can’t get back out here before the ceremony, we can do a teleconference if we need to.”
“You’ve all done so much,” Taggert said. “We really appreciate the support and advice.”
“Not a problem. We’ll let you get back to planning the ceremony. How’s that going?”
Brad groaned. “Driving me crazy, that’s how.”
Taggert laughed and said, “Sorry, Brad. Jackson has some particular ideas about what he wants so we’re letting him run with it.”
“We give input and advice, but we want the day to be as special for him as it can be,” Jonas said.
“I’m sure it will be perfect,” Ryan said.
“It will be if it kills Jackson. That is, if I don’t kill him first,” Brad joked.
~~~~~~~~~
“It isn’t right!” Jackson bellowed angrily. He shoved the cake topper back into the shipping box and slammed the flaps closed.
“What’s wrong with it?” William asked, peeling back the flaps Jackson had so roughly closed. “Is it broken?”
“This is the wrong one,” Jackson growled. “I didn’t order a het cake topper.”
“Oops,” William said, pulling the topper out of the box. “Is that you in the dress?”
“Shut up,” Jackson barked.
“I’m just teasing. What does the packing list say?” William dug into the box through bits of Styrofoam to find the paper he was looking for.
“It doesn’t matter what it says,” Jackson snapped. “It’s wrong and I don’t have time to order it again and let them screw it up. Damn it!”
“What’s the problem in here?” Brad demanded with a disapproving frown, hearing Jackson’s curse as he came in.
“They screwed up my order!” Jackson exclaimed. He rose from the kitchen chair to face Brad and vent, but stopped short when he saw Jonas and Taggert with him. “Oh, hi.”
“Hi, yourself,” Jonas said lightly, slipping an arm around Jackson and kissing his hair. “What’s wrong?”
Taggert pulled the cake topper out of the box and bit back a smile at the happy man and woman interlocked arm in arm all dressed in white. “This one is you,” he said to Jonas, pointing at the woman.
“It doesn’t look a thing like me,” Jonas teased back.
“This isn’t funny!” Jackson snapped.
“It’s ok,” Taggert said calmly, hugging him hello. “We’ll figure something out.”
“You can’t just stroll over to Wal-Mart and get a cake topper with three men on it,” Jackson groused, flopping angrily into a kitchen chair.
“You found one with three men?” Jonas asked.
“He special ordered it,” Brad said.
Jackson shoved the box away from him, too disgusted to have it anywhere nearby. “I can’t believe it. Three weeks away and now this. Will anything go right?”
“It’s going fine, Jackson. It isn’t the end of the world,” Taggert said.
“It feels like it,” Jackson complained.
“Let’s go for a walk, let you cool off,” Jonas suggested, taking Jackson’s hand.
“It’s too hot outside to cool off.”
“We’re going to try anyway,” Jonas said. “Come on.”
Jackson trudged along with his Alphas hand-in-hand and stepped outside. The humid air fell heavily around them like a cloak.
“See? It’s too hot,” Jackson argued.
“Settle down and tell us what happened,” Taggert said.
“I told you! They messed up my order. I don’t have time to order something else.”
“Kurt is a talented guy,” Jonas said. “I’m sure he can come up with something. We’ll talk to him before we leave.”
“Unless he can create the topper I ordered, he can’t.”
“Jackson, stop it. We’ve got to leave in one more day so let’s enjoy the time,” Jonas said. “Try to focus on what has gone well.”
“Right,” Taggert interjected. “You have the flowers lined up – “
“And a crappy cake topper,” Jackson muttered.
“We’ve agreed on the music – “ Jonas added.
“And a crappy cake topper.”
“Jackson,” Taggert said, stopping the walk.
“What?” Jackson answered, staring at his feet glumly.
“That’s enough,” he warned. He could feel the anger emanating off Jackson in waves, and realized they needed to get him calmed down before he got himself in real trouble. He hadn’t forgotten the signs of Jackson spiraling nor the fact that he sometimes ran off when he did it.
“I can’t help how I feel,” the disconsolate young man muttered.
Jonas said, “We aren’t asking you not to be upset. We understand that, but it’s time to look for another solution. You can’t change the fact your order came in wrong, so stop stressing about it.”
“You say that like I can flip a switch or something.”
“You need to refocus,” Taggert ordered. “If the stress is going to be too much for you, then maybe we need to handle more of the planning.”
“I can handle it!” he snapped.
Taggert’s brows rose in surprise.
Jackson said more calmly, “Well, I can.”
“I think you’d better start acting like it,” Jonas recommended.
Jackson lowered his gaze and stared at the ground. Jonas took him by the elbow and turned him back in the direction they were headed earlier.
Taggert listened as Jonas calmly turned the conversation to other things, keeping the focus off the errant order. Taggert smiled to himself. Jonas was so good at keeping his head and staying calm in the face of turmoil. He knew Jonas would be good for Jackson in times just like these.
He wasn’t so sure about himself. He wanted so badly to do the right things for Jackson. He and Jonas had both reassured each other, discussed their worries of inadequacy and how glad they were to have each other for support. There were going to be times – like what had just transpired – when they couldn’t exactly discuss what to do. Taggert was relieved at how nature seemed to take over. His personality was the type to call Jackson on the carpet immediately and Jonas’ was to help ground him, give him a new focus. Together, they would make this work.
"Why don't we see if Kurt's around?" Jonas said as they neared the dining hall. "Do you know where he lives?"
"Yeah," Jackson said and pointed toward the resident cottages.
"Let's go see him," Jonas said, heading in the direction Jackson pointed.
They knocked on the cottage door and Kurt answered it. "Hi there, Jackson," he said.
"Hi, Kurt," Jackson said.
"Jonas and Taggert," Kurt said with a smile, extending a hand.
"How's it going, Kurt?" Taggert said.
"Good. Come in," Kurt swung the door to allow them inside and offered them a seat.
"We were hoping you could help us out," Jonas said. "We had a little problem with the cake topper we ordered."
"It's all wrong," Jackson grumbled.
Kurt smiled and leaned back against the sofa. "Not the first time I've heard this problem come up. I usually end up having to do something with icing or flowers to top the cakes."
"I didn't want it to be like everyone else's," Jackson said, glaring at his hands.
"It won't be like everyone else's," Jonas said. "It will be ours."
"We used flowers on top of ours," Taggert said. "It was really nice."
"What flowers are you having?" Kurt asked.
"Orchids," Jonas said. "Could you do something nice with those?"
"Sure can. Actually," Kurt thought aloud. "Hang on."
Kurt left and came back with a magazine. He flipped through the pages and opened the magazine to a page he had dog-eared. "Check this out."
On the page was a lovely design of wedding cake with a unique twist for a topper. "It's a vase made of sugar," Kurt explained. "We can either put real flowers in it or I can construct some made of icing to match your arrangement. I've been wanting to try it, but hadn't had the opportunity yet."
"That is really different from the usual cascading flowers," Jonas observed. "I like it."
"You can actually do that with sugar?" Taggert inquired.
"I can. It's a nice variation on the usual."
"But it won't be three men like I ordered," Jackson grumbled.
"No, but I promise it will be nice," Kurt assured him. "It will be beautiful."
"So you think you can work it out?" Jonas asked.
"Definitely. What I'll do is take some extra flowers from your decorations and use them in the vase. I get to play and you get a unique topper."
"Sounds great," Taggert said. "Isn't that nice, Jackson?"
Jackson shrugged and didn't answer. Taggert looked over Jackson's head toward Jonas and Jonas shook his head.
"It looks nice to me," Taggert said to Kurt. "We appreciate the suggestion."
"No problem. How are the rest of the plans coming?" Kurt asked.
"Really well," Jonas spoke. "Everything's falling into place."
"We're excited," Taggert smiled. "Aren't we, guys?" Taggert looked at the man to his left and saw Jackson still focused on his hands, refusing to interact or make eye contact.
"I'm thrilled," Jonas said. "Aren't you, Jackson?"
Jackson muttered a response that was unintelligible and Taggert cringed to himself. Jackson wasn't bothering to hide his ill attitude at all and Taggert was both embarrassed and a little annoyed at the behavior.
Taggert said, "Well, we've taken enough of your time unannounced, Kurt. We'll let you get back to whatever we interrupted."
"You didn't interrupt. I was just cleaning up a little. My partner will be back in a few and we're heading out for a walk when he gets back."
"A walk sounds like a good idea."
"It's too hot," Jackson grumbled.
Jonas sighed. "Thanks for taking some time to talk to us." He took Jackson's hand and pulled him to his feet. "We appreciate it."
"No problem at all," Kurt said, walking them to the door. "Good luck with the rest of your planning."
They left the cottage and Taggert pointed to a bench along the way as they passed it. "Sit down, Jackson."
Jackson gave him a mulish look then sat down folding his arms across his chest, closing himself off. "What?" he muttered.
"The pouting stops now," Taggert demanded firmly.
"Fine," Jackson said.
"That's not stopping it," Jonas said. "You're being rude."
Jackson looked up at them indifferently through his lashes and Taggert could almost hear the "so?" he didn't say. Taggert was at a loss. If Jackson continued to push, they'd have to do something about it, but what?
"We want it to stop," Taggert ordered. "Now."
Jackson held his gaze as well as his obstinate expression. It felt like a game of chicken and Taggert knew without a doubt that he and Jonas couldn't be the first to swerve out of the way. The stubborn look he was getting from his partner didn't make him very confident of a sure win.
"Do you plan to let it go or do we need to go back to the cottage and deal with this?" Taggert asked.
He saw the faintest bit of give in Jackson but it was short-lived. The flicker of uncertainty was quickly replaced by an expression of resolve. The challenge had been cast, and he and Jonas had to win this one. It was the first time Jackson had challenged them since they were matched, and if they failed to handle it correctly, Taggert knew it would make things harder on all three of them later.
"Ok, then." Taggert snapped his fingers toward the path. "Let's go."
Jonas held out a hand for Jackson, but Jackson refused it, standing up on his own and shoving past Jonas and Taggert to walk in front of them.
"Hold it!" Jonas demanded and Taggert was glad to see Jackson stop immediately.
"Don't storm off away from us," Jonas said. "Walk with us."
"I can walk by myself," Jackson said.
"I didn't ask if you could. I told you to walk with us, and I meant it."
Taggert almost smiled at Jonas' determination, something he had learned was a part of his personality despite the laid-back amiable man that could be seen on the surface. Jonas could be bullheaded, stubborn in fact, when he stood up for something he believed in. He believed in Jackson and their relationship as a trio and it was showing. Taggert saw Jackson's walking off as a Jackson solo, not a Jackson who was part of a relationship, and he'd be willing to put money down that Jonas saw it the same way.
Taggert watched the new standoff between the two men that he loved and breathed a sigh of relief when Jackson didn't continue on the path apart from them.
"Are you coming then?" he asked snidely.
"And you can watch your tone, while you're at it," Jonas ordered, flanking Jackson.
Taggert caught up and walked to Jackson's left, his thoughts on what in the world they would do about the morning. He thought maybe the corner and soap, but he wasn't sure. He was glad they would be talking to Brad in the meantime because he frankly wasn't sure what to do and had no idea whether Jonas had any clue. They walked back to the cottage in silence, all of them caught up in their own thoughts about the morning.
Brad was in his office going over some paperwork when they approached him.
"Sorry to interrupt you, Brad," Taggert said, "but we have a situation."
Brad looked hard at Jackson and Jackson dropped his head under the glare and studied the carpet. "Is that right?" Brad said, not taking his eyes from Jackson. "Does Jackson need to go to my sitting room?"
Taggert was sure Jackson's head fell a little more at Brad's words.
"He can wait in there," Jonas decided. "Go on, Jackson."
As soon as Jackson left the room, he and Taggert took a seat in front of Brad's desk.
Taggert rubbed his forehead and said, "He's in a state over that damn cake topper. I know it was important to him, but he's really letting it get to him."
"What did he do?"
"He was rude to us and to Kurt. He's being generally unpleasant," Jonas said. "He's snapping, pushing us when we tell him to do something."
Brad leaned back in his chair and said, "He's testing you."
"You think so?" Taggert asked.
"I know so."
"I thought that, too," Jonas agreed. "I mean, a bad mood is one thing but he's almost asking us to react."
"So how are you going to react? What are you going to do about it?" Brad asked.
"I'm not sure," Taggert conceded.
Jonas responded with no hesitation. "I think he needs his mouth washed out."
"That's what I was thinking while it was going on," Taggert commented to his partner. "What do you think, Brad?"
"I think it's a start. Reel him in before he needs more than that."
"He's stressed about the wedding, I know," Jonas said, "but that's not an excuse to be rude."
"I agree," Brad said. "Who's going to do it?"
"I can do it," Jonas offered. "I was more involved in it, I think."
"Yeah, you were," Taggert said.
"Ok," Brad replied. "I think you can handle soap without me. There's a bar in a container with his name on it in my fridge. Wet it down, make him hold it in his mouth for a few minutes. Probably three for this."
"Ok," Jonas said, resolutely standing to his feet. "Thanks, Brad."
Brad smiled after the two left his office. Whatever awkwardness Jonas had about spanking Jackson, didn't seem to apply for mouth-soaping. Just like Brad expected, their Alpha instincts were kicking in like they did with all new couples. They were going to be just fine, he sensed.
~~~~~
"I didn't mean to be rude," Jackson said, still grimacing on the soapy aftertaste.
Jonas hugged him to his chest and stroked the dark hair of the head leaning against his shoulder. "You're stressed about the wedding. We expect that, but we also expect you to be considerate of us and other people."
"I'm sorry," Jackson said, and Jonas kissed the top of his head before releasing the hug.
Taggert pulled him close and fingered a wisp of hair off Jackson's forehead. "It's ok," he said. "We're going to get all the plans finalized while we're here and then you won't have anything to worry about."
"It's going to be here in no time," Jackson worried, his brow wrinkled in concern.
"That's right," Taggert said. "We can't wait."
"The rest of our lives starts officially in three weeks," Jonas commented. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
"Depends how handy you get with the soap," Jackson grumbled, his bottom lip protruding expressively.
"Watch your mouth and attitude and it won't matter," Jonas said with a twinkle in his eye.
Jackson worked to maintain his pout and looked to Taggert. "Is he always this mean?"
"He's horrible," Taggert warned.
"I am not. He's worse than I am." Jonas jutted a thumb toward Taggert.
"Ok, *now* I'm having second thoughts," Jackson muttered.
"Turn those second thoughts to wedding planning," Jonas recommended to him. "Let's check the list and see what's left to do, ok?"
"Ok, I just need to rinse one more time," Jackson commented as he grabbed the handle of the faucet.
Jonas' hand quickly closed over Jackson's before he could turn on the tap. Jackson looked questioningly between the stubborn expressions on his Alphas' faces. "What?! Brad would let me." He added an unconvincing, "Probably."
Jonas shook his head and turned Jackson toward the bathroom door. "Nice try."
They sat at the kitchen table, the list of preparations positioned between them. "I don't think we need to do anything but show up," Jonas noticed. "You've done such a good job on this."
Jackson beamed proudly. "Thanks. That's why I was such an ass about the topper. It was perfect."
"It might seem like the wedding is marred to you, but the flowers will be beautiful on the cake," Taggert said. "Especially with that vase Kurt is going to make."
"It's going to be a special day, even if we had no cake," Jonas added. Checking the list again, he saw only one thing left to do. "We need to address the invitations this afternoon, but that's about it. We have our clothes taken care of, right?"
"Yeah, our clothes are ready to go and in my closet," Jackson confirmed, then laid a hand to his stomach.
"Are you ok?" Jonas asked.
"I'm fine. Butterflies. Talking about my closet made me think of packing. I can't believe I'm leaving TI."
"It's been home for a while," Taggert said.
"I know. Two years’ worth of stuff to pack," Jackson calculated.
"It won't be bad. We're going to help you this weekend. Ship what things you can do without," Jonas said.
"The next time we come back, it will be to marry you," Taggert noted, his heart filling.
"When you asked to match with me, it felt like it was going to be forever getting here," Jackson reminisced. He glanced at the cabin schedule and felt another wave of butterfly activity when his eyes settled on the circled date, complemented with Ashton's rendering of wedding bells. "Now, it's almost here."
~~~~~~
Brad stood in front of Jackson and ran a calming hand down his cheek. The two-piece gauze ensemble set off Jackson's tan skin against the white of the fabric. His lean chest was uncovered by the long sleeveless vest Jackson had chosen to leave unbuttoned. The lightweight fabric of the pants hung loosely, yet accentuated Jackson's lean curves while cinched sexily with a simple tie just below his navel.
"You look absolutely stunning."
"Thanks, Brad," Jackson said. "You don't look so bad yourself."
Brad smiled and checked to be sure his short-sleeved linen shirt was properly tucked into his white pants. "I like what you picked out for me."
"I thought the yellow shirt worked best for you. I hope Emerson likes his outfit."
"He said he did."
"Too late now if he doesn't," Jackson commented, shifting nervously.
Brad took his hands and said, "Deep breaths, babe. It's going to be fine."
"What if it's not?" Jackson rambled anxiously. "What if something goes wrong? What if they change their minds? I mean, this is *huge* and I'm not the easiest Cen to deal with. I know that and –"
"Shhhh," Brad cut him off with a finger to his lips. He kissed Jackson's cheek tenderly and said, "You're a wonderful man. I've been telling you that for two years. When are you going to believe me?"
Jackson sighed despondently. "I don't know."
"Have I ever lied to you?"
"No."
Brad tipped Jackson's chin up and sought his eyes. "And I'm not lying now."
Jackson rolled his eyes and said, "Ok, Brad."
"Listen to me. If anything goes wrong, that's ok. What have I been telling you about being perfect?"
"That it's ok not to be."
"The wedding will happen even if something doesn't go exactly according to plan. You've got three Alphas watching out for you today."
"God," Jackson stressed with another roll of his eyes.
Brad laughed. "You wouldn't have it any other way."
"I guess," Jackson partially conceded. "You're sure I look ok?"
"You look great. I'm so happy for you, babe." Brad looked at his watch and said, "It's time."
Jackson took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let's go."
The dry sand shifted beneath his tan sandals as he and Brad walked onto the beach. Jackson gripped Brad's hand tightly and paused as the wedding area came into view.
It was more perfect than he had imagined. The small grouping of chairs was situated in two sections just like Jackson had directed. He relaxed a bit as he recognized the backs of several heads of the handful of people they had invited. Even Ben came. One worry down. People actually showed up. A dark and a blond head in particular caught his eye, and Jackson swallowed nervously.
They came. They didn't change their minds.
"I told you they'd show up," Brad whispered in his ear.
"Yeah," he said.
The archway was covered in cascading greenery accented by clusters of yellow and purple orchids with two bouquets arranged on either side of it, complemented by the view of the ocean backdrop. The strains of My Heart Will Go On floated toward Jackson on the sea breeze as Zach delicately displayed his talent with the violin.
The words of the song came to Jackson's mind as the melody played.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door,
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.
He started not to choose that song when he and Zach went over the selections, knowing that it was the theme for the Titanic. A song about death and the loss of hundreds of lives didn't seem on the surface to be applicable to a wedding, but the lyrics spoke of eternity together. What could be more appropriate? Jackson took a deep breath. That's what he was committing to. Eternity.
As the melody of the song died away, Emerson took his place under the archway and Jonas and Taggert joined him. They immediately caught a glimpse of Jackson at the back of the small gathering and smiled.
Jackson's breath caught. They were so handsome, each in his own way. Jonas' blonde hair danced lightly with the wind coming off the ocean and his khaki-colored silk shirt and pants rippled softly with the breeze. His tan looked deeper than it was against his crystal blue eyes and blonde hair, but paled slightly compared to Taggert's darker features.
Time seemed to stop as Jackson paused to admire them. They looked better in their wedding attire than Jackson remembered. Jonas wore his shirt untucked and it hung softly on him, the sleeves spilling down his arms to stop at his wrists. The opening of the pullover shirt split almost halfway down his torso, but was held closed by a narrow strand of fabric that laced upward, dangling on either side of the opening and left untied. His pants were loose-fitting; a perfect match for the shirt he wore.
Taggert was equally striking in a sand-colored linen outfit, similar to his partner's but different. Like Jonas, his sleeves were long, but bore single-button French cuffs finishing them. He had buttoned all but the top few buttons, allowing the soft material to drop open on either side, his darkly tanned neck and chest peeking through the opening. The loose tail of his shirt fell softly over his matching pants, which trailed down his legs, kissing the tops of the off-white sandals he wore.
The leis around both men's necks dressed their more informal attire, comprised of the same mixture of orchids adorning the archway. Jackson wanted to pinch himself. This must be a dream.
Jackson noticed with approval that Emerson, like Brad, had tucked his lavender shirt into his white cotton pants just as Jackson had requested. Emerson tipped his head toward Brad and Jackson, causing several guests to look behind them and Jackson froze in fear despite the warmth of the Caribbean sun bearing down on him.
His fingers tightened around Brad's hand and Brad assured him, "It's fine. I'm right beside you. Ready?"
Sam was down front and grinned back at his friend, giving him the thumbs up and the courage to go on. Jackson tried to swallow on a throat as dry as the sand that had worked its way into his sandals.
"Yeah. I'm ready."
It seemed surreal: the faces smiling at them as they passed by, the joyous sounds of Handel's Rejouissance that Zach was playing, the long walk down the short pathway. He was surprised that the sand he was walking on was solid and that his steps weren't mired in the quicksand of dreams.
The vows! He panicked suddenly. What if he garbled them? What if he couldn't say them right? What if he --?
They stopped in front of Emerson, and Brad turned to Jackson. Placing a kiss on Jackson's cheek, Brad took the lei from around his own neck and put it on Jackson. He shook the hands of both Jonas and Taggert and they took their places, one on each side of their partner, while Brad stepped aside as Best Man.
"Gentlemen, we are here today to celebrate the union of Jonas, Taggert and Jackson," Emerson began as the music trailed off. "To witness their commitment to their relationship and vow their love to each other."
Jackson willed himself to relax. It was going to be fine he repeated to himself. His partners were on either side of him, each of his hands clutched solidly in theirs. He managed to take his eyes off Emerson long enough to look for Brad, but could see no more than part of his clothes, his image blocked by Jonas to his side. He started to panic then found a surprising calm begin to come over him as Jonas caressed the back of Jackson's hand with his thumb.
Jonas. It was going to be ok. He had Jonas and he had Taggert. Emerson's voice was swallowed by the sound of the crashing tide as Jackson looked up at Jonas who caught his eye and smiled. He glanced to his right and Taggert squeezed his hand and discreetly nodded his support.
Jackson took a deep breath and looked back to Emerson and concentrated on what the man was saying.
"Jonas, Taggert and Jackson. Please face each other."
Jonas and Taggert stood side by side to face Jackson, each one holding his hands and each other's, creating an unbroken circle of three.
"Jonas, Taggert and Jackson will now recite their vows," Emerson said.
Taggert took two rings from Brad and slipped one on Jackson's left hand and one on Jonas'. "I pledge to you, Jackson and Jonas, to be your loving friend and partner in marriage. To talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate you, to respect and cherish our uniquenesses, to support and comfort you through life's joys and sorrows. I promise to share your hopes and dreams as we build our lives together."
It was really happening, Jackson realized. Taggert meant what he was saying; Jackson could see it in his eyes. He blinked hard as he felt a burn in his eyes then Jonas placed a ring on Taggert's finger and held a hand of each partner.
"I promise from this day forward to share my life with you, Jackson and Taggert. You can trust my love, because it is real. I promise to be faithful to you and to unfailingly share and support your hopes, dreams and goals. I vow to be there for you always," he recited, stressing the last word. "When you fall, I will catch you, when you cry, I will comfort you, when you laugh, I will share your joy. Everything I have is yours from this moment and into eternity."
Always? Eternity? Did they know what they were doing? Jackson searched their eyes. Yes, they did. There was not even a hint of uncertainty on their faces that Jackson could see. Jackson's heart seemed to grow beyond the confines of his chest and he lost himself in their presence, suddenly forgetting the onlookers and Emerson.
From hours of practice, Jackson opened his mouth to recite not only from memory, but from the heart. "Jonas and Taggert, I have finally discovered the meaning of real love. For the rest of my life I will love, respect and honor you. I will be committed to self-growth and the growth of our relationship. I promise to be honest with you and will listen to your needs and feelings. I will be faithful to you in mind, body and spirit. I will be your friend and life partner no matter what life brings us."
Emerson subtly cleared his throat and the men reclaimed their position facing him. "And now, Sam will offer a reading from The Hymn of the Universe."
Jackson couldn't help but grin at his best friend as he took his place in front of the group, a simple index card with the words of a reading clutched in his hand for reference.
Sam read carefully, enunciating each word printed on the card in his hand.
"Only love can bring individual beings to their perfect completion, as individuals, by uniting them one with another, because only love takes possession of them and unites them by what lies deepest within them. This is simply a fact of our everyday experience. For indeed at what moment do lovers come into the most complete possession of themselves if not when they say that they are lost in one another? And is not love all the time achieving - in couples, in teams, all around us - the magical and reputedly contradictory feat of personalizing through totalizing? And why should not what is thus daily achieved on a small scale be repeated one day on worldwide dimensions?
"Humanity, the spirit of the earth, the synthesis of individuals and peoples, the paradoxical conciliation of the element with the whole, of the one with the many: all these are regarded as utopian fantasies, yet they are biologically necessary; and if we would see them made flesh in the world what more need we do than imagine our power to love growing and broadening, till it can embrace the totality of human beings and of the earth?"
Sam took his seat and Emerson continued, "As a symbol of the joining of these three men in marriage, they will demonstrate by the blending of these sands, the melding of their lives together."
He waved his hand toward the unity table, adorned with four vases: the larger one empty and surrounded by three others filled with sand. While Zach played Kindred Spirit, the three men took up positions behind the table, and each picked up a sand-filled vase.
Jonas began the unity sand ceremony by carefully pouring half the purple sand from his vase into the empty one. Jonas' single layer was coupled with one from Jackson as he poured an equal amount of white sand from his vase to cover the foundation Jonas had laid. Jackson looked to Taggert when he was finished and Taggert took his cue to add the last individual layer of yellow sand from his vase on top of the white sands from Jackson's.
When he finished, the three raised their vases together over the once empty vase and poured their remaining sand on top of the single layers, intermingling the granules together to form a blended union. Jackson's chest began to swell as he looked at the now sand-filled vase. He would never forget this moment. Every time he looked at the display from this day forward he would remember standing there, his hands clutched in those of his partners as Zach's music continued to flow.
The sandy arrangement was beautiful, more beautiful than he had imagined when he first learned of this twist on the unity candle ceremony. It was more than how it looked; it was what it represented. Like him and his partners, the arrangement started with three distinct layers that were then blended together as one, forever intertwined. Jackson realized as he focused on the top layer that there was no way it could ever be divided again, the three colors were drawn together thoroughly and completely. Forever.
Just like they were. Jackson blinked back tears of joy with the realization as the music died away and they moved back in front of Emerson.
"It is with great pleasure and honor," he stated with a proud smile, "that I present to you Jonas, Taggert and Jackson, committed to each other for life."
Jackson was suddenly captured by Jonas, who kissed him firmly before allowing Taggert to do the same. Before Jonas and Taggert finished kissing each other, Jackson distinctly heard a whoop of excitement from his best friend, followed by cheers from the rest of their guests.
Jackson was sure his feet had left the sandy beach. Brad was there all of a sudden, gripping him in tight hug.
"Congratulations, Jackson," he said, a broad smile stretched across his face.
"Thanks," Jackson replied shyly.
Their guests surrounded them, each offering their congratulations. As Tom, Ashton and William moved aside, Ryan and Ben stood before them, bringing up the rear of the line of guests.
"Congratulations, gentlemen," Ryan said, extending a hand to each newlywed.
Ben stuck out a hand and Jackson took it. "Well, Jackson. Who will we argue with now that we won't be on The Island together?"
Jackson grinned. "I don't know, but I'll bet whoever it is won't come close to the fun I had nagging at you."
Ben pulled him into a hug. "We've had some rough times, but I'm going to miss you anyway."
"Me, too," Jackson said, beginning to choke up. He brusquely wiped at his eyes.
"There's nothing like being committed," Ben counseled. "You're going to be so happy together."
"Thanks, Ben. I'm sorry for all the hell over the last two years."
"Kept things interesting, huh?" he smiled amiably.
"No doubt."
Taggert announced as Ben walked away, "They're ready for us to take pictures."
"Ok. Where's Brad?"
"I'm right here."
"I want some with you. I wouldn't want you to forget me."
Brad took Jackson's face in his hands. "Jackson Barnes. I will never forget you."
~~~~~
Jackson and Jonas were already in the bed when Taggert slipped in beside them, his skin still damp from his shower.
The scent of musk from the shower gel wafted over to Jackson and his stomach fluttered with desire.
"You smell good," he said, running eager hands over Taggert's skin, cooled from the shower.
"You look good," Taggert offered, dipping his head to put tender kisses along Jackson's neck.
Jackson inhaled sharply and craned his neck for more as Taggert hit a spot that sent a flutter of tingles through his skin.
"You like that?"
"Mmmhmm."
Jackson closed his eyes and ran his fingers over Taggert's shoulders as he covered Jackson's chest with feathery kisses, teasingly light. As Taggert's tongue and lips flicked down the length of Jackson's torso, Jackson's heartbeat quickened and he lost himself in the sensation. He was vaguely aware that Jonas had moved behind Taggert but his focus was honed on Taggert's hot mouth, caressing and licking over his stomach. His breath caught as Taggert's tongue danced over a sensitive area, his abdomen clenching reflexively with the tickle.
Taggert's mouth traveled slowly up Jackson's chest, finding a nipple and closing over it, his suckling and tugging sending tiny ripples of pleasure through Jackson with each touch. Jackson's hands fed through Taggert's wet hair, petting him and encouraging him to continue as he breathed in Taggert's clean scent. Jackson groaned and bit his lower lip as Taggert's finger disappeared between his cheeks, firmly pressing against his anus while his lips continued to draw and harden the nipple in his mouth. Jackson squeezed the muscles surrounding the intruding finger that slipped inside him, buried deep and probing.
Taggert's tongue trailed lower, tantalizingly slow over Jackson's skin as he followed the thin, dark line of hair pointing toward Jackson's penis. Jackson thrust his hips upward, eager for Taggert's lips to close over him, and take his dick deeply inside the hot wetness of his mouth. Jackson shuddered as Taggert grasped the base of his penis, his mouth encircling the head. Passion built steadily as Taggert's tongue stroked quickly at the underside of the head in his mouth, and Jackson thrust his hips, unable to remain still.
Taggert's finger slid smoothly back inside Jackson while he took Jackson's dick deep inside his mouth. Jackson's balls began to tighten as his cock hit the back of Taggert's throat with every thrust, sending his mind reeling with desire. An orgasm overtook him, his body swelling with satisfied waves as he spilled into Taggert's mouth. He breathed heavily while Taggert licked the cum, tasting and drawing eagerly while looking into Jackson's eyes.
"You feel so good," Jackson said to him and Taggert tenderly kissed the inside of Jackson's thigh.
Taggert said, "I love you, Jackson."
As Jackson's world became centered again, he enjoyed the sight of his lovers as Jonas entered Taggert. Jackson smiled as he watched his men, their skin glistening with a fine covering of perspiration, lost in their passion. Taggert was on his knees, his elbows on the mattress, giving Jackson a clear line of sight to his dick. Jackson couldn't resist the temptation to touch Taggert's penis and he slipped his hand under the raised hips, gripping his cock to stroke him in time with Jonas' thrusts from behind. Jackson moved his hand up and down the length of the member in his palm, wishing to please Taggert as much as he had been satisfied.
Jonas clutched Taggert's hips as he rocked in and out of him, his thrusts becoming more intense with each stroke. Jonas' fingers went white as he came, his grip on Taggert tightening as his body tensed with a shuddering climax and he pumped into his partner. Taggert cried out as Jackson brought him to his peak, cum spurting onto the bed. With a sated sigh, Taggert collapsed against the pillows amidst his lovers.
"I'm going to need another shower," Taggert announced with a grin. He slipped his arm under Jackson and curled up tightly against him, spooning from behind.
Jackson snaked a leg over one of Jonas' strong thighs and draped an arm across his chest, craving contact with both men. Jonas stroked the arm lying against him, his fingertips gently caressing Jackson's skin as they lay together in sated silence.
Jackson spoke into the quiet, "I can't believe we're married."
"Believe it, babe. It's for real," Jonas told him as he leaned over and kissed him hard.
"I thought it would never happen. I didn't really think you'd show up."
"Hey," Taggert beckoned and Jackson looked over his shoulder at him. Taggert looked straight into Jackson's eyes. "Not only is there no way we wouldn't have shown up, there's no way you'll ever get rid of us - even if you think you want to sometimes."
Jackson's eyes stung. "Promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die. ‘Til death do us part, remember?"
"Yeah."
"It's more than a promise," Jonas added sincerely. "It's a vow. Do I need to quote it again?"
"No." A tear slipped from the corner of Jackson's eye and Jonas wiped it away.
"What's the matter, babe?" Jonas asked him gently.
"I'm just happy. Thank you for loving me."
Jonas kissed him and cuddled next to him. With the two men surrounding him, Jackson felt his world was secure.
"It's a pleasure loving you," Jonas whispered.
End
